Freaking Glitter

I could never understand why the hell girls think glitter is the best invention man kind has to offer.  Whenever they sit in a chair with their ass covered in sparkleys then I sit there, it looks like my rear destroyed Tinkerbell and I have it on my jeans until it gets washed.

Another thing about girls with glitter is how they soak their face in it.  It's everywhere especially in music videos.  I'm sorry but I can't say that I find that attractive because I find it scary.  What's wrong with not having glitter?  I didn't have a problem with it.

But glitter sticks everywhere.  They ALL stick everywhere.  Every single speck.  Even clothes are lined with glitter, and if I pick out the wrong outfit to try on in the dressing room, then I just doomed myself to being glued with these things on my body.  And if I wanted to jog outside in the sun an hour later, people will think I'm part of a Twilight fan club.  Showers can't even get rid of all of them.  I'll still have both my eyelids tacked with glitter, and when I go see someone, it gets made awkward.

They also scatter like crazy.  Have you ever touched something like a counter top at a burger bar in New York and suddenly got a few specks on your hands before?  Because that has happened to me.  Twice.  They can't disappear, they just travel from area to area.

Why can't we just let it be what it was supposed to be; something out of a crappy children's craft kit that you got for five dollars at JC Penny's.  Besides it being spilled and getting everywhere in the carpet, at least your kids can have fun with it before they become adults with make up glitter on their face.

And oh damn we didn't even get to the part that sucks the most.  When I go to a forum online and there are teenage girls lurking around trying to get an internet boyfriend, I see those damn glitter avatars in their signatures, and it gets way distracting.  Not only do I want to go blind because there are added animated sparkles (like this) but just the fact that they have to be animated says another thing.  Who are these people who create these?  These are usually the cheap icons that you see advertised for girls in banner ads on websites about Spock, and the worst part is that some of these girls probably paid a few cents for something so stupid like this.

Screw glitter.  It doesn't make you cute and they are a waste of whatever tiny particles they are made out of it.  And if you are one of those people who puts glitter on your lips when you go to a club, no one wants to put their lips against something gritty and shiny that can stick to their face.  It's common sense.