Friday, December 31, 2010

What I Played in 2010

Hi, I'm hardcopy, and for any new viewers to the blog, welcome to Your World in Hard Copy, a blog about anything in the 21st century...like Tron.  Tron's cool.  Port 2, our 21st Century Team, writes and contributes to the blog.  For anyone who has noticed, yes, we did add another contributor, and, no, you can't take his spot.  Tenchi just debuted with his review on Final Fantasy XIII, and Nick, who has been with the team and also writes for his own gaming review blog, has debuted on Your World.  Expect more from all of us.


Ok with that out of the way, Happy 2011.  For some of you, we're one year closer to our death, and for the rest of you who are sane and not gullible, let's just move on with the 21st century.  Recently I got a PS3 along with access (and by access I mean steal and by steal I mean not legally) to a 360, I played more games than usual.  But that's ok.  I kinda like it actually.  Here is a list of the best games I played in 2010:

God of War Trilogy

Unfortunately I was late to this party because I was too busy raping my way through Prince of Persia.  Except for Warrior Within.  That game could go to hell. 

I started with the second one (don't ask why, I realize how stupid that was) then played through the first one.  Holy crap, Kratos is all man and more.  I was particularly impressed with the second one because it wasn't as dramatic as the first one, but they ran a very close race.  Then I got the third game, and my pants exploded.

Never have I thought that the game would become more violent than the second.  I mean you see more organs than you do in the last two games combined.  That's impressive.  In any case, I do believe that this game served a great purpose for me to understand that Zeus is a giant douchebag and I need to max out everything because it's so much cooler that way.  Currently I am going through the third game on all difficulties then continuing with the two newest games for Prince of Persia

And as for the ending, personally I liked it; I don't understand why everyone thought it was lame just because it made Kratos have feelings.  Don't know exactly what happened at the end, and that's all up for debate, but Nick said that Kratos flew away on Falcon's back from the Neverending Story, and that's fine with me.

Limbo

I already made a review on this game and a possible interpretation for the ending, but I do have to say that the ending really did boost this game up to be on my list.  And I'm not really into boxfags and their 360s but I do like Portal.  When I played Limbo, it gave me another excuse to keep using my friend's XBox, which will be returned as soon as I get my sock back.  Which I got back a few weeks ago.  He doesn't need it any time soon.

Donkey Kong Country Returns

I gotta hand it to the Wii for this remake.  The developers did a fantastic job, and I wish I had more time to play this since I do not own the system.  But I will say that the time I spent playing this game was really an experience.  It made me really excited to see the rhino again and bust ass on those thorn thingies you can't stand on, but I also felt very refreshed with new levels and new moves.  The controls aren't overdone or too many to memorize and understand.  At first I was having problems, but once Diddy starting squeaking everywhere, I said "That's adorable!" and just kept up with it.  I know I will play this again, and I look forward to it.

Tales of Monkey Island

Great series, and just in time.  It took only like what, ten years, for them to make another one?  But after playing all five chapters in this, I was very satisfied with the long wait.  And in case if you were wondering, I played it on computer because that's the only way you could play a Monkey Island game.  However the remake graphics in the XBox games are pretty bad ass.  Still it's not the same.  The fifth game, this game, was awesome.  Just like Stan.  He's the man.

Bioshock 2

I don't know why, but for playing this in the beginning of 2010, I don't really remember that much from this game.  Probably because I'm criss crossing it with the first one, but this was a good first person shooter.  Although I can't say that if it was the best in the series, it was pretty interesting viewing this game from a different prospective.  The storyline is a huge blur to me, but I can say that for a horror game, I really can't stand being scared and freaked out but this game was too cool for me to stay away from.  Since the trailer it drew me in.  Now they got that Infinite game coming out, and I don't know, not really that interested, but I am at least curious to see how it comes out. 

That's what I'm going to end on.  So let 2011 give me another year of great games now that I have an up to date system.  Did you play any awesome games in 2010?  Leave of a comment if you wish. 

I'm hardcopy, and remember, if your gerbil fuzzy pet thing is able to put on a hat by itself, it's probably capable of killing you.  You were warned.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Game Review: Splatterhouse for Xbox 360

Splatterhouse (Xbox 360)

Released: November 23, 2010
Developer: Namco Bandai Games
Publisher: Namco Bandai Games
# of Players: 1 (offline)
ESRB Rating: M for Mature
Price: $59.99 (new), $49.99 (used)
Available: Now (also available for other systems)



Splatterhouse is a cult favorite series that harkens back to the days of the TurboGrafx-16 and the Arcade. To do this review justice I need to go back a bit and give a little history lesson about this series' roots.

The first Splatterhouse game appeared in arcades as early as 1989. It was a simple yet challenging game. The game proceeds in a side-scrolling fashion and is a beat-em-up by design. In 1990, the game was ported to the TurboGrafx16 with some alterations that make a difference to series stalwarts. The arcade version of the game had two short cutscenes (under about a minute each) that were meant to flesh out the story somewhat. You play a guy named Rick Taylor. Rick and his girlfriend Jennifer Willis are in the woods and get caught in a rainstorm so they proceed to run into the nearest house. This house happens to be West mansion, also known as the Splatterhouse due to all the rumors of the hideous experiments supposedly conducted there by Dr. West, a renowned parapsychologist. Upon entering, Rick and Jennifer are attacked by grotesque creatures. This encounter leaves Rick mortally wounded while the monsters drag Jennifer off into the mansion. Shortly after this the Terror Mask comes to Rick and fuses itself onto him, bringing him back to life and making him more muscular so he can save Jennifer. Its a pretty thin story but back then, games didn't really need one. Apparently the game did something right as it won the hearts of many and became a cult classic.

Splatterhouse 2 would see release in later years as well as a Splatterhouse 3. These games were also met with cult classic status and for years fans of the series begged and pined for another. The wait finally ended this November of 2010. Instead of releasing a sequel, Namco Bandai decided to go back and remake the original game. This was a smart move as it allows them to flesh out the series even more. The game has the same story as the first one more or less. You enter the mansion, Rick is attacked and left for dead, and Jennifer is taken away. The only key difference is that there is more focus. There is a definable antagonist this time in the form of Dr. Henry West (Dr. West never actually appeared in the earlier games, he was only mentioned) and his presences helps to drive the narrative forward. His motivations are something of interest and there are a few twists that can leave you kind of feeling awkward. The character progression for Rick is quite profound. He gradually goes from being a dorky, scrawny, metalhead to a badass, head-crushing, force of destruction. He begins to accept the power that the mask gives him and seems to start to revel in it. The Mask itself is a character as well, providing a bit of dark comic relief to the game. He will make comments throughout the game about your actions or about whats going on in the game. He can be a bit annoying sometimes but more often than not, he provides a welcome break in the action.

The visuals aren't too impressive. This is the equivalent of a B movie in this next-gen era of graphics. But in that, it has its own charm. Splatterhouse, as both a series and this remake, has never claimed to be anything more than 1) what the fans want of the series/game; and 2) the cheap fun killfest it always was. The music is fantastic. Metal blares in the midst of intense boss fights and goes a long way towards pumping the player up and making them feel like a badass. There are plenty of upgrades that you acquire over the course of the game and they definitely start to make you feel more powerful and destructive. These might range from giving you a bigger health bar, to increasing the durability of a weapon, to allowing you to pull off enemy's heads and throw them. This game is extremely graphic with gratuitous amounts of blood and gore. The collectibles in the game are even pieces of naked pictures of Jennifer (jenny in this remake) meant to entice the player to explore a bit more. The combat can feel a bit shallow at times. X is quick attack, Y is strong, and B is grab. You do get the option of performing Splatterkills which help break up the combat. The only problem here is that most enemy types have only 2 so you will end up seeing the same kill thousands of times before you're done with the game and it can get annoying after the first time.

The voice acting is very well done and believable particularly with Rick and the Mask. Enemy types can get quite repetitive and the camera can be a bit troublesome sometimes. I encountered a glitch early on where a set of enemies didn't appear so I was unable to proceed through the level. After pressing start and 'Restart at Last Checkpoint' it was all taken care of though. The worst part about this game is the load times. They are absolutely unbearable. Usually they take about 2-5 minutes. If you install the game to your hard drive you can cut down on this drastically but still expect to sit there for at least 20 seconds to a minute. With the technology now available, this is inexcusable and I don't understand how this is still a problem for developers.

Now for something that I always think about: replayability and achievements. The replayability is a bit average. After completing certain levels, you will unlock the original games in the series. This is a great bonus to add in as all 3 are quite entertaining even in this modern day. They show their age a bit but are still quite enjoyable. Also, there are Survival Arenas that unlock. These pit you against 20 waves of enemies that range in difficulty and task you with staying alive. If you complete them, you receive a rank. There are also naked jenny pictures in these arenas as well. A higher difficulty is also unlocked upon completion of the main game, but you can take your upgraded Rick through it and it doesn't pose too much of a problem. There are various masks you can download for Rick if you want to change his look up some but these are purely cosmetic. Now the achievements in this game are about average in difficulty. Most of them are quite easy and you will receive them on a first playthrough. Any that you miss will easily be obtained on a second. The difficult achievements come with scoring the highest rank possible in the survival arenas. Doing this requires you to go through all 20 waves of enemies as fast as possible and this is rather hard to do. Because of these achievements I'd have to score the achievements a 6 out of 10.

This game is exactly what it was meant to be. Its a fun excursion into crazy violence with enough story to keep you entertained but without straining your focus. The developers know these games were played for the intense gore and action and they have stayed true to that. Many reviews have seen this game getting less than average scores and that just doesn't add up for me. If you are trying to make the next halo and you put out this game, then yes I completely understand. But as I stated earlier, this series has always been about B movie entertainment and fun. This game is meant to just be a fun distraction destroying everything in sight. It won't change minds or hearts or annihilate records; but it'll damn sure keep you entertained from beginning to end.

Spllaterhouse for the Xbox 360 gets an 81 out of 100.

Game Buzz in the 21st Century: Little Big Planet 2

The demo was just released on the Playstation Network, and it managed to make itself more adorable than the previous Little Big Planet.  When the first game came out about a year ago, it was giving Playstation nerds so much buzz.  Why?  Instead of this being one of the first award winning games on the PS3, the innovation was fun and creative.  But when you actually purchase this game and play it instead of just watching trailers or your other friends watch it, it's a lot bigger than you think it is.

Not only are you able to run through platforming fun with your friends or by yourself, you can customize your Sackboy or Sackgirl to look any way you want, and you can also collect, use stickers, and decorate your POD.  The graphics are amazing, and in the new demo it doesn't fall short of what you are expecting.  But because the bar for the first game was raised so high, would the second be just as good?

In the demo you can view trailers, network, and go through three levels.  But these three levels aren't the standard platforming levels in the first game.  In these levels you are already faced with a few different elements in the game.  You are also offered stickers to collect and parts to customize your Sackboy although they are limited. 

The first level lets you try out the grappling hook.  The physics can be a little confusing at first, but once you master how to use whatever is available in the environment, then you can zoom through the level no problem.

In the second level you meet the craziest bastard who created three different animal robots for you to use in the level.  All robots are dispensed at the checkpoints and they have their own health bar.  When you reach a checkpoint with the robot, health is replenished.  The rabbit robot can only jump to move but uses a power slam attack.  The dog walks, jumps not as high or far as the rabbit, and has a sonic bark to push things.  The hamster just rolls like Sonic, and you can make it roll faster with a turbo boost you can use at any time. 

Finally the last level is the online portion or you can use another controller.  You fly around this battle royal (four players per stage) arena and shoot shit at each other.  Personally I didn't download the demo for this, but that's because I'm a platforming whore.

From what I got from the demo itself, I was able to muster the idea that more innovation will be the main theme in this game.  But a huge amount of gamers usually hover around the custom made level section network of the game, and I wouldn't imagine it to be any different except with the ability to add more things to each level. 

You will find the demo to be fun, but it doesn't offer that much.  Still of you want to check it out and get hyped up about the game, I suggest downloading it to see if what the hell I was talking about makes sense.  Hopefully this game will hold a candle, but in the mean time I'm just going to have to wait and see.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Movies in the 21st Century: Why Another Pirates?

Hi, I'm hardcopy, and I have no problem eating at McDonald's.  It's not going to kill me.

I went to go see Tron Legacy last week and saw the trailer for the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie.  From what I understand the whole movie is going to be about Jack Sparrow and whoever the hell Penelope Cruz is going to play.  For once Jack will have a successful romance from what I gathered, and you won't see Turner or Swan so what's the point of seeing it. 

First of all I would like to point out the name of the fourth movie is On Stranger Tides which is probably the dumbest choice they have been offered for titles.  If the whole movie is about the Fountain of Youth, why couldn't they just call it Journey to the Fountain of Youth or something?  On Stranger Tides is a classic pirate tale by Tim Powers, but I highly doubt the entirety of the PC movie will be based strictly on that text.  I still think putting a title from the book you are making a base on in the subtitle of a movie franchise is pretty damn cheap, too.  And still, it leaves a weird taste in my mouth when I mention the title.  It sounds like I'm on some weird drug.


This whole fourth installment idea is making me think back to the franchise.  Well I remember in 2003 when the first movie came out, and oh boy, was it a hit.  I remember seeing it at least twice in theaters, which I rarely do.  But it was just so fresh with as much comedy and violence as I could take in a Disney film that the whole thing sunk into me within the first few seconds.  The story was fun and exciting, and everyone was going crazy over Jack Sparrow, one of the biggest characters Depp made girls fall in love with.  His character has the strangest flaws and the best part was that he ended up all loony because he was in the sun and on an island by himself for too long.  That's just hilarious.

When the sequel was announced, people were making such a big fuss over it.  I saw it when it came out on DVD, and the ending was such a cock tease that the third one HAD to come out sooner.  I only remember saying, "What?  Barbosa?!" and having to scream a the TV because it just cut off.  But Dead Man was the start of the insane storyline.  If you are not paying attention for at least a few minutes, you miss out on everything.  I can't tell you how many questions I asked to anyone who was watching with me.  "Who's that guy?"  "Why are they there?"  "What the hell is going on?"  "I'm pretty sure he's evil."  "He's probably not evil."  "That guy's tentacle face is creepy." 

Then At World's End.  Wow I have never seen a movie in English where I had to use subtitles because I couldn't understand what they were saying.  It was long and pretty good, but towards the second half I just wanted to stop watching this and let the movie wrap up.

So I have no idea where this next movie will be going besides a cheap sequel.  The Jack Sparrow character wasn't even around much in the last movie, and when it was there, he was tripping out of his gorge and wasn't taken as seriously.  Elizabeth Swan really had the best role, in my opinion, because she had the best character development plus was around more than Turner. 

In conclusion I think the next movie might be funny and will go back to the witty and adventure like state as the first PC movie, but all there is...is Jack so not as well developed.  And...Black Beard.  -shrug- I don't know; I wouldn't suggest not seeing or anything since it didn't come out yet, but judging from the trailer, it just looks like milking Jack Sparrow until he dies.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010



Hi there I am Tenchi399 the mysterious new member of Port 2. As someone whose really never done a blog before I had to think about what I wanted to do so I figured for my first one I can do what I do well; complain. With that said I think you can guess what I have to say about this game. I’m throwing the spoiler warning up now so you’ve been warned.

The Plot or Zzzzzzzz:

I will say right out there that FF plots do tend to be on the weaker side but with games like 6 and 7 Square proved they can make a good story. This story is basic, save the world and there really isn’t anything special about it at all. The one thing about the story though that gets me is the ending. Through out the story the Fal’Cie leader Barthandelus keeps yapping on about wanting to destroy the world so basically God will come back. Okay that’s kind of interesting I will admit and did kind of keep me wondering but then the end comes; Barthandelus merges with Orphan, which is the whole thing controlling the world. So if Barthandelus does all this to see God then why the hell would he merge with the thing he wanted the heroes to kill in the first place?! Idiot.

Characters or STD’s.

So worst FF characters to date. I wanted them to fail so they would turn to crystal and the game would be over. I kind of wanted the bad guys to win because I hated the heroes so much. Horribly named, whiny and some were kind of familiar. Like Square was trying there hardest to reproduce a certain game. So here they are:

-Lighting:, Emotionless, uses big swords and a solider. If Cloud were a woman then Lightning would be it. They are the same like almost no difference expect she whines and cares a little more. My sister got turned to crystal and I don’t give a damn. Jerk.

-Snow: We have no idea for names so let’s use weather. I think they might be running out of ideas. So, whiny, would be Seifer if he were a surfer dude, main attack is fists. Huh, fists, Tifa? Well Tifa is better looking anyway. This is where, at least I think, most of the emotion from this story was supposed to come from instead all you here is a whiny guy that only says “We have to save Serah.” That’s like all his dialogue right there. This character should have been a girl. No offense but he acts like one.

-Sazh: Black guy uses guns and has kid issues. Do I really have to make my point anymore? Someone should have told them this wasn’t FF 7. Anyway another whiner and I really didn’t use him that much. My party generally was made up of Lightning, Fang and Vanille. Again his story was sad but I stopped caring after like the 100th time he complained about. He should have just shot himself, just saying.

-Hope: Seriously? Hope? Should have called him little whiny bitch. Ironically enough he was in almost all my boss battles. He was sad and gloomy because mommy died. Again a sad thing yet they did a bad job of making me care. He would have redeemed himself in my eyes if he just stabbed Snow. Infant.

-Vanille: She was a good contrast to Hope. Lots of energy and not as gloomy. I also tended to call her Venereal. Only because if a venereal disease could talk I believe she is what it would sound like. It was like the voice actress had a stroke half way through recording and they were like crap we don’t have anyone else so just have her keep going. Moral of the story, don’t touch Vanille.

-Fang: She was….good? Wait I don’t have any complaints about her. That can’t be right.

There was a real FF character in this game? She wasn’t whinny or annoying and I didn’t want to see her die a horrible death. I didn’t tend to use her that much because she wasn’t one of my power hitters and that became a big problem when Vanille didn’t to get her summon but overall she was a great contrast to every other character in the game. She had emotion, didn’t cry about the same things over and over again and just wanted to go out there and kick some ass. Her voice did get kind of annoying after awhile though. Ha, I knew I would find something.

The worst part:

This is what really got my blood boiling, the summons. The worst summons I have ever seen in any game. They turn into machines?! Really!! How stupid is that? Square decided to take whatever heart these games had and turn it into cold hard steal. Enough with the future tech crap. These summons were also useless. I would use them and they did no damage what so ever. Why do the Shiva Twins turn into a motorcycle and well why did they change the way they did? If you don’t understand find a video and really look at it. Alexander kind of made sense because he turned into a horse but it was still a damn robot.

The battle system: boring. They should have just had this Heavy Rain, an interactive movie. I mean for the first like 80 percent of the game you just walk in a straight line and watch movies. Exciting. The visuals were stunning but that was the only good part of the game. Square needs to replay the first 7 games and remember what a game FF game is about. So if you like boring uninteresting characters, shinny pointless visuals, a battle system you could fall asleep while using and still win, a plot that doesn’t make sense at times, useless summons, and the urge to kill anything in the room with you after playing the game then I think this might be the game for you. Square, stop being sellouts and tools. I might check out Final Fantasy VS 13 because Tetsuya Nomura is directing that one. He only did the art design for 13 so I can forgive him for that but it seems that VS 13 has his style written all over it. Why? All the characters look Emo.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Vlog of Awesome #34: Christmas lights tour of Ct



In this latest installment of my continuing series on life as i see it, i go around my small area of Connecticut and check out some of the light displays i come across.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Best Small Role Characters in the 21st Century

Hi, I'm hardcopy, and I'm strapped into listening to some Power Glove.

I like animated tv shows and cgi movies.  After watching Duke's recent vlog about Christmas icons, I was thinking about my favorite small role characters.  So here comes another list in the 21st century:

Fridge Guy from Solty Rei

Alright I can't find a picture or have the opportunity to screenshot it, so you're going to have to deal with my artistic bullshit.  In one of the episodes in Solty Rei, Rose and Solty get lost in the ruins of the city.  Like the book City of Ember.  A rescue team shows up to dig a massive hole, and for some reason, one of the guys in the organge suits has a HUGE fridge body.  I am not making this up, I saw it. You see him about twice, and he's passing off coffee to people.  I have no idea what the hell he has a fridge case around his body for, but I am very certain the animators were screwing around with their audiences on this one.  So whoever you are, Fridge Guy, you earned my respect by passing out coffee and not doing much because you don't know what you are holding nor could you see.

Mad Hatter Robot from Futurama

One of my friends brought out the best in this guy because during lunch when I was in high school.  He would yell "CHANGE PLACES" and it was just a barrel of fits and giggles.  In the Robot Insane Asylum episode, you only see this guy just for a brief moment.  And if you are into stupid humor like me, his antic is really delightful.



Space Pope from Futurama

...Space Pope.  I'm afraid that's all we know. 









Curly from Hey Arnold

Now he's probably not as cool as Arnold, Gerald, Stinky, or maybe even Eugine, but Curly is fucking nuts.  And if his character wasn't like that, then I probably wouldn't even care about this douchebag, but holy shit, if you manage to free the animals from the zoo at night while riding away on a giraffe at 8, that's pretty awesome.

Other than that, nothing really else exciting about him.  Pretty much it was that one thing that he did that gets him on my list.


Duff Man from The Simpsons

I really can't put into words how he sits on the borderline of being a major tool or just so overly annoying you fall in love with him.  Maybe he's bit of both but in an all man form.  Regardless of whatever the hell I just said, The Simpsons has a lot of minor role characters.  I'm going with Duff Man because every time he talks it's a one liner.  Especially in the episode with the hunger strike.   






Jon Lovitz from every movie/every TV show

If you watch every movie from the comedy genre, you know what I'm talking about.  Jon Lovitz has cameos in so many movies that the question changed from "what movie isn't this guy in?" to "which movie does he actually appear as a main character in?"  I love his voice acting, too, he always has such a fresh voice, but for a guy to be about seven characters in the Simpsons, he's always a treat to have on the show.  His work in The Critic was also fantastic.  But being more specific, I have seen this guy in the following movies, which isn't even all of the ones I have probably seen with him lurking around in the background:
-The Producers
-Trapped in Paradise (main role)
-The Wedding Singer
-The Benchwarmers
-Rat Race
-A League of Their Own

When I grow up and become part of the film industry, I want to do stuff like he does and just sit my ass somewhere, say one line, then get paid. 


John Ratzenberger

I'm going to end with another recognizable man by voice.  Ratzenberger has been in Cheers.  The TV show was fun and everything, but I'm aiming my finger towards his Pixar voice acting.  He is in.  Every.  Pixar movie.  Ham in Toy Story is one of his biggest roles.  In some of the others like Monsters Inc. and Cars he's only in it for a short amount of time, but this has become a fun tradition picking him out of every Pixar movie that comes out.  I love his work, and I hope he still continues this for many more years to come.

I have other stuff to do but just wanted to put as a side note that Kings of Leon SUCK.  That new single they have, "Radioactive", is just a pile of lyrical nonsense.  I really don't get what the hell this guy is trying to tell me.  Apparently the water is where I came from, and some road...what the hell I really just don't get it.  I mean I can't take any of their other singles.  "Sex on Fire" for example is just terrible.  I know that the meaning should be that sex is a passionate thing, but all I could think of is some guy's penis on fire because of lack of lube.  Or he just microwaved it for thirty seconds.  They only way you could only enjoy their music is to just get high.  No need to be intelligently inclined in order to understand their music.  It's not even written in an artistic way.

Freakin Kings of Leon...the guy sounds like he's 40 years old!  *grumble grumble*  I hate this band.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Christmas with Port 2


hardcopy

1) What do you want for Christmas?

I pretty much got what I want for Christmas: Kratos in Mortal Kombat for the PS3.  I've been watching that Gametrailers video for three hours straight last night, and I am really close to say that my fondness for Kratos might be a huge obsession.  Almost.  A number of views to reach obsession should be an even number, not 37. 

If I had to pick something else, I would want the Swagger Soaring Eagle.

2) How would you like this present to be presented to you?

Kicking and screaming.

3) If you could buy a present for our readers, what would you give them?

I love you guys so much I want to hug every limb of your body going in a circle starting with your legs.  But I'm paying a cent for you.

4) Was there a present Santa didn't get you one year?

I think the puppy I asked for years ago is dead. 

5) If there is one person you could interview, who would it be?

The Miz because I think he's really entertaining, and even for a heel, he is probably the nicest and best conversationalist out of all of the WWE.  He's really amusing, and with all the other interviews he always gives his A game even if they ask the same questions over and over again.  I would love to meet this guy.

6) What's your superhero power?

Talk to animals, dude.  It's easier to get an army that way.

7) What's one important video game power or technique people should know how to use in real life?

If you don't know how to barrel roll, you're pretty much screwed.

Tenchi

1) What do you want for Christmas?
Basically just movies and Video Games. Gift Cards are always good as well. 
2) How would you like this present to be presented to you?
I'm pretty traditional so wrapped under the tree.
3) If you could buy a present for our readers, what would you give them?
Gift Cards because they are always a safe beat.
4) Was there a present Santa didn't get you one year?
that's a hard one. I don't think I've ever really been disappointed about what I get and don't get
5) If there is one person you could interview, who would it be?
George Lucas. That man has a lot to answer for. 
6) What's your superhero power?
Magnetism. Even if I can't find any metal there is no place on this planet without a magnetic field.  

7)What video game power/technique everyone should know how to use in real life?
That would be Summon powers. That way when someone is bullying you, you can summon Bahamut and crush him like an ant.
Nick
1) Hmm that's a tough one....i don't know, pretty much just video games.

2) Oh there are soo many options...I'd like them delivered on a silver platter by a hot girl cosplaying as the hot female characters from video games lol (i.e Jill Valentine, Lady or Trish from DMC, Cammy or Chun Li, etc.)

3) I'd give them the games that are among my top 5 favorites of all time so they can share my joy of gaming :P

4) Santa never got me that Sega CD or Sega Saturn D:

5) Real person? Bruce Campbell. Made up person? .....Spider-Man lol

6) Depends. If we are talking about other people having superpowers than my superpower would be Empathy. I'd have all of their powers after meeting them. If no one else has powers, I'd want the powers of Spider-Man or Time/Space Control (freezing time, teleporting, etc.)
Duke
1) What do you want for Christmas? some xbox games, maybe some dvd sets as well, most of all money towed a new computer

2) How would you like this present to be presented to you? wrapped with shiny wrapping paper, wait that's too distracting

3) If you could buy a present for our readers, what would you give them? love and peace!

4) Was there a present Santa didn't get you one year? i really don't remember
5) If there is one person you could interview, who would it be? Hideo Kojima, in his native language

6) What's your superhero power? timelord regeneration

7) What video game power/technique everyone should know how to use in real life? to use their inside voices
Port 2 wishes you a wonderful holiday season.  And remember, if Santa could ride a bike under water while swimming with two sharks, that means that you could do anything.  Including buying us wonderful presents and online points for our gaming so we can continue to survive in this harsh winter wonderland. 
Port 2 will also be resuming normal updates soon.  Keep your pants on.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

IPad Part II, Why do People Suck

I just recently read an article on Yahoo about the most popular items given as gifts for Christmas by year.  I actually was shocked that IPad, which is clearly a piece of crap, made top best seller for 2010.  My burning question is not why IPad but why do you PEOPLE HAVE TO KEEP BUYING THESE TERRIBLE PIECES OF BATSHIT?!

There must be something I'm missing here because I have actually seen these things and I find them no better than a laptop.  All it is...is an IPhone.  The only "cool" thing I saw it do was attach to a keyboard because the screen isn't big enough for people to rest all their fingers on. 


Whatever the case may be for wanting to buy one of these is just a waste of time.  You can easily find another solution. 

"What if I want to have the convenience of having an appliance that can keep all my records and documents without having to lug around my laptop?"

If you ask this question, there is something seriously wrong with what makes you think this thing is more convenient to carry around rather than a laptop.  I'd rather put my laptop or netbook in my backpack and also have other things to carry around in there so it's all in one luggage versus trying to carry something that doesn't even have it's own carrying case. 

I truly think that Mac has made the IPad this size so you have to carry it in one hand to flash their logo at everyone who sees you.  Some people might think you are cool walking around with an expensive appliance, which can easily be stolen because you don't want to have a carrying case for it and keep it in your hand at all times on the subway.  I, and many other people, think you look like a Mac-tard.

"But it handles like an IPhone, which was a successful product."

Well the thing with the IPhone is that it's a phone trying to be a phone not a phone trying to be a computer.  The IPhone was very successful, and even if I do not like Apple products, I will say that the IPhone and newer IPods were very well developed.  But those are hand held objects that shouldn't take so much knowledge to know how to use.  Computers should be handled with a certain amount of knowledge about the particular computer.  And because the IPad is just a huge version of the IPhone, it's still not a computer.  At least get a laptop.  It holds more and does more than this...tablet thing.  See?  Its associated name isn't even a cozy small object.  They just call it a tablet.  Like Egyptian cravings in slab of cement tablet.

I just wanted to keep this brief so I'm just going to stop here.  But before I leave, let me remind you that there are other things that you can get instead of a slab of unworthy crap.  Just...stop it.  Stop buying this thing.  Get a real computer or upgrade the one you have now.  You'll be better off.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Awesome Games in the 21st Century: Limbo

Hi, I'm hardcopy, and I know the true meaning of Christmas.

I have been hearing a lot of buzz on Limbo, and eventually I bought a passcode to download the game on my friend's XBox (and I don't have one because I think XBoxes are shit).  When I played the game, I truely felt disturbed.  Then I felt like this was more of an experience than just a game.  Also it was probably one of the most challenging puzzle games I have played through, and I highly suggest you try the demo. 

Limbo was released in the summer of 2010, and immediately there was a big response of an overall satisfaction with the game.  While most believe the game was too short or not long enough to be worth around 15 dollars, everyone can basically agree that the style of this game was very original and boils down to being as creepy as it could get.  Judging by the above screenshot you could determine for yourself that limbo is possibly the most f'ed up place you could be in let alone try to survive. 

In the game's description, the only thing you know is that the main character is looking for his sister.  There is no dialog, but the real-like sound effects and certain points where there is music doesn't make you feel completely alone.  In fact you are never truly alone in this game.  The main character you control is a young boy who goes through this hell in a side scroller engine.  There is no color, just the use of various shades of black and white.  Still the graphic shadows and environment are very fluid and well done. 

Everything kills you, but there are endless continues.  Because the game is also puzzle, you have to really think about your moves to survive.  On average someone who first plays the game will be expected to die about every five to ten minutes.  There are twists and turns and plenty of surprises unless you get lucky, know exactly what you are doing, or have to go ahead just to see how you can get out of a certain section.  There are pitfalls, spikes, spiders, heavy machinery, turrets, water, and other kids with big pointy sticks who can kill you.  You can, however, interact with objects, push or pull crates, climb ropes, jump, and grapple edges to help escape limbo. 

Each level has its own theme.  During the first part of the game you are mainly in the forest trying to escape very obvious threats of death.  The giant spider makes an appearance in the demo, but throughout the first level you don't really realize how many times these freakin things chase you.  You have to be clever and fast to get through.  Once you get through, you find dead bodies everywhere, and it introduces the feeling that you are not alone.  You will find other village kids who will kill you, but once you master how to use other objects to survive, then you can continue to progress.  You have to interact with everything.  One of the elements of this puzzle game is that it always offers the right amount of objects you can use to continue to move forward.  You will never be stuck wondering how many crates you need because you will end up using all of them.  But that doesn't take away from its challenge.

The second half of Limbo involves knowledge of physics.  You get trapped in a sawmill like area, and then the danger dial flips a shit.  Before you know it, you have to understand how to use magnetism, anti-gravity, and the most perfect timing to get through.  This time around you are challenged with how far you have to think ahead.  Now some gamers can find this game easy and get through without a problem, but most of the time on your first try the second half gets difficult because it's covered in death traps.  But the rush of getting through pulls you along and most of the time if you just keep a straight head, you can manage to get through the toughest puzzles.


The brain slugs/brain worms are very annoying.  It only lets you go down a linear path and the only thing that slows you down is pushing back on the analog stick.  You have to find these birds who eat these worms by jumping, but to even get to them, you have to navigate through more death traps with timing and precision.  The worms do not like light, and when you get to a well lit area, it will only piss off the brain worm and reverse your direction.  This feature does infuriate many gamers, but it only bumps up the variety. 


(Warning: Spoilers)

Here is the experience I had with Limbo.  Like I said before I bought it to play with someone I know, and playing with someone else didn't, from what I think, affect the experience.  In fact, I admit I am pretty game stupid, that it saved me time by not dying.  Still all in all it took about maybe six to seven hours getting through it on a first time.  Not bad, but hey, if you don't know me by now, I like to take my time with this stuff. 

One thing that got me confused with the ending was the lack of story that I didn't realize the game even had.  I didn't read the description, which is the only way you know unless someone else told you or you look it up online, so I just assumed he tried to get out of limbo.  Then he finds a girl at the end.  So ok, while I didn't understand anything about what was supposed to happen, I still thought the ending was good and was pressing me to think about what really happened. 

Then I found out he was supposed to find his sister.  You don't know why, but if you interpret the ending right, then you'll understand what actually happened that made him fall into limbo.  Eventually I'm going to play this game again and see if there are any motifs that I missed in the actual gamplay.

I researched the hell out of finding out how the ending can be explained.  Many forums had different theories, but in the end you won't know unless the creators tell you.  While many of these theories make sense, I'm going to go with one that I think does the ending the most justice.

The boy in the game is trying to find his sister but ends up going through limbo, a place between life and death.  When he breaks through a glass or a barrier after the last puzzle, he breaks through limbo literally and gets out.  He wakes up in the area you first start off at.  You walk towards the left and see a figure sitting on the ground tending to the grass.  When you walk fowards just a little bit, the girl stands up startled and it ends.  Pay attention after the credits.  When you do, you'll notice the start menu screen will appear like normal, you get an achievement, but then the scenery is different.  Instead of the normal start up menu, where you get a foresty area with a breezey sound effect, you get a damaged structure on a short platform with a broken ladder above grass with flies buzzing; you can also hear them.

From what I got the best out of these theories is that the boy is dead.  He is trying to find his sister, which makes him think he is alive so therefore he is stuck in limbo because he can't accept death. I believe when he wakes up that he can't find his sister's body.  Either the boy understands that she is dead or just missing.  When he finally sees her again, he comes to the reality that he isn't alive or is able to leave limbo because he was able to find his sister again.  I'm figuring that the same idea is shared with his sister, who was probably trying to find her brother this whole time, too.  Because she seems startled that she found her brother, the viewer should think that she wasn't expecting to see him.  Or maybe to see that he is alive.  Whatever she was doing before he found her, they end up in the same area near a broken ladder that is also in the new start up menu screen after the credits.  That is probably where they originally died.

There is also a point where the boy sees a girl's body in the distance, but he isn't able to get to her.  You could think that the sister doesn't want to find him or she was trying to find him until a brain worm eats away at him and scares her away. 

The broken structure above them must have caved in or did something that killed them both.  From what other people have said, they thought the structure was a tree house.  But whatever it is something must have broke down to kill the siblings because where the flies are are two corpses; you don't see them so clearly but if you look closesly, you can make out two mounds on the ground. 


With that said there are also other theories that look  more closely into why the two are dead.  Others say that the things you see in the game have to deal with their lives before they died and others say that because it's limbo they are just places for the boy to pass on through in order to get to the end.  While a few think it has to do with a car crash because he broke through glass at the end, others will also go deeper into it and put together the different places you go through in the game such as the forest, the hotel, and the saw mill.  You can say all of this, but you also just take a simplier ending.

Limbo was an enjoyable game.  I hope the creators will end up making another type of puzzle side scroller with as much innovation was this had, and I will be considering purchasing more of their products.  Although it was short, I think it was worth the money because I ended up spending a good amount of time trying to solve puzzles and getting my ass handed to me.       

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Vlog of Awesome #1: College radio retrospect

I Duke, have decided to post my vlog series to this blog to show it off. It starts off slow, but it gets better, so heres episode 1 from back in February 2010. Including some smooth jazz from Japan for background music!



The Vlog of Awesome is my ongoing series on life as i see it, some reviews, some adventures here and there and continuous coverage of Old Man Noises (a great cover band with my friend Doug on bass).

Overrated Things in the 21st Century

Hi, I'm hardcopy, and The Miz is the new WWE Champion.  I'm thoroughly excited.

Thanks to Meow Cheese, this picture sums up my feeling about the following topic: overrated things.  Hopefully I keep this going as a series and hopefully I will get some of you to agree with me, too. 

There's no trick to this; it's just things that shouldn't have more attention than it should. 


CNN
Liberal news media room CNN is a huge rival over the Conservative newsroom FOX.  They both suck, but I think CNN's fan nation praises the station too much.  Not only are the news in general way too over dramatic, CNN has a terrible delivery.  Why do they take a camera and zoom into another monitor to show data?  Why can't they just project the images on the monitor for viewing so the runny lines don't have to fuzz everything up?  And I really don't care about the morning CNN news.  The only cool thing I saw on that was cool was a guy dressed up like Captain America protesting. 

Silly Bandz
Guys, it's just plastic.  In the shape of various things.  You know what else I can do that's more impressive?  I could spend all that money on these packs to buy material for baking cookies and draw pictures of random crap on them out of sugar.  But at least you can eat them.  I mean what the hell will you do with these things when they're done with?  Tie them together and make a belt?  It's such a waste.  Having more than about twenty of these is just crazy.  And when younger kids wear these so much that they make permanent indents into their arms for the rest of their life, then don't say I didn't warn you.

Formspring
People ask you questions, and you get to post them onto Facebook.  It's kinda cool if you like interactment with random people, but almost with every user someone gets an asshole posting dramatic crap on their accounts.  "Why did you have to bang your girlfriend's sister at her birthday party then get so drunk you threw up in her cake?"  Oh come on man why do you even bring that up anymore?  I thought we were over this five years ago.  We had an intervention and everything.  It's better just not to care or make an anonymous account.

Mac Computers

No right click button.

What the hell?





XBox Achievements
People, why do you even bother anymore?  Either you get an achievement for picking your nose or completing a task by getting all secret power ups, unlocking the secret party member, completing seven time trials within a time trial, getting a combo of higher than 458 head shots in five minutes, and beating the whole game over again in half an hour.  Also people who cannot beat a game until getting all achievements is just labor; why can't you just enjoy the game? 

Twilight
Good news is that the movies will end soon.  It blows my mind how Twilight is held in the same rank as Harry Potter, which is an epic.  The movies are even worse, too.  One of my biggest fears in my life is getting caught up in a opening midnight release for the new movie. 

I have no idea how to deal with this until it's all over.  I will say I did read the books, and no, they weren't that fantastic.  I even skipped through along the last book and fell asleep.  Best part was the violent c-section. 



So there you go.  I hope this has been enlightening to you and so forth.  You get an achievement for reading this.  Put it on your fridge.