Hi there I am Tenchi399 the mysterious new member of Port 2. As someone whose really never done a blog before I had to think about what I wanted to do so I figured for my first one I can do what I do well; complain. With that said I think you can guess what I have to say about this game. I’m throwing the spoiler warning up now so you’ve been warned.
The Plot or Zzzzzzzz:
I will say right out there that FF plots do tend to be on the weaker side but with games like 6 and 7 Square proved they can make a good story. This story is basic, save the world and there really isn’t anything special about it at all. The one thing about the story though that gets me is the ending. Through out the story the Fal’Cie leader Barthandelus keeps yapping on about wanting to destroy the world so basically God will come back. Okay that’s kind of interesting I will admit and did kind of keep me wondering but then the end comes; Barthandelus merges with Orphan, which is the whole thing controlling the world. So if Barthandelus does all this to see God then why the hell would he merge with the thing he wanted the heroes to kill in the first place?! Idiot.
Characters or STD’s.
So worst FF characters to date. I wanted them to fail so they would turn to crystal and the game would be over. I kind of wanted the bad guys to win because I hated the heroes so much. Horribly named, whiny and some were kind of familiar. Like Square was trying there hardest to reproduce a certain game. So here they are:
-Lighting:, Emotionless, uses big swords and a solider. If Cloud were a woman then Lightning would be it. They are the same like almost no difference expect she whines and cares a little more. My sister got turned to crystal and I don’t give a damn. Jerk.
-Snow: We have no idea for names so let’s use weather. I think they might be running out of ideas. So, whiny, would be Seifer if he were a surfer dude, main attack is fists. Huh, fists, Tifa? Well Tifa is better looking anyway. This is where, at least I think, most of the emotion from this story was supposed to come from instead all you here is a whiny guy that only says “We have to save Serah.” That’s like all his dialogue right there. This character should have been a girl. No offense but he acts like one.
-Sazh: Black guy uses guns and has kid issues. Do I really have to make my point anymore? Someone should have told them this wasn’t FF 7. Anyway another whiner and I really didn’t use him that much. My party generally was made up of Lightning, Fang and Vanille. Again his story was sad but I stopped caring after like the 100th time he complained about. He should have just shot himself, just saying.
-Hope: Seriously? Hope? Should have called him little whiny bitch. Ironically enough he was in almost all my boss battles. He was sad and gloomy because mommy died. Again a sad thing yet they did a bad job of making me care. He would have redeemed himself in my eyes if he just stabbed Snow. Infant.
-Vanille: She was a good contrast to Hope. Lots of energy and not as gloomy. I also tended to call her Venereal. Only because if a venereal disease could talk I believe s
he is what it would sound like. It was like the voice actress had a stroke half way through recording and they were like crap we don’t have anyone else so just have her keep going. Moral of the story, don’t touch Vanille.
-Fang: She was….good? Wait I don’t have any complaints about her. That can’t be right.
There was a real FF character in this game? She wasn’t whinny or annoying and I didn’t want to see her die a horrible death. I didn’t tend to use her that much because she wasn’t one of my power hitters and that became a big problem when Vanille didn’t to get her summon but overall she was a great contrast to every other character in the game. She had emotion, didn’t cry about the same things over and over again and just wanted to go out there and kick some ass. Her voice did get kind of annoying after awhile though. Ha, I knew I would find something.
The worst part:
This is what really got my blood boiling, the summons. The worst summons I have ever seen in any game. They turn into machines?! Really!! How stupid is that? Square decided to take whatever heart these games had and turn it into cold hard steal. Enough with the future tech crap. These summons were also useless. I would use them and they did no damage what so ever. Why do the Shiva Twins turn into a motorcycle and well why did they change the way they did? If you don’t understand find a video and really look at it. Alexander kind of made sense because he turned into a horse but it was still a damn robot.
The battle system: boring. They should have just had this Heavy Rain, an interactive movie. I mean for the first like 80 percent of the game you just walk in a straight line and watch movies. Exciting. The visuals were stunning but that was the only good part of the game. Square needs to replay the first 7 games and remember what a game FF game is about. So if you like boring uninteresting characters, shinny pointless visuals, a battle system you could fall asleep while using and still win, a plot that doesn’t make sense at times, useless summons, and the urge to kill anything in the room with you after playing the game then I think this might be the game for you. Square, stop being sellouts and tools. I might check out Final Fantasy VS 13 because Tetsuya Nomura is directing that one. He only did the art design for 13 so I can forgive him for that but it seems that VS 13 has his style written all over it. Why? All the characters look Emo.
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